Arrows n Stuff

I know, I know, I've been dead for a while. I know you've all been wondering where I am... What I've been up to. "You know, life is just not the same without Holy-heart.. Every time he posted, it brought light to my life... His posts gave me something to look forward to... something to live for. His posts brought me... true happiness" "Holy-heart's writing was revolutionary. He was going to be the next Pynchon. No, better than Pynchon. He might have even surpassed Milton honestl. Without his posts, the artistic world just feels... empty. I just want him to come back and start posting again... To change the entire paradigm of human-created art, in a time where it is at its most vulnerable...." "Where is holy-heart? Where is he...? Please God... bring holy-heart back... I'll do anything. Fucking anything, damn it!" "my favorite part about Holy-heart was his face... His beautiful face.... every time I see it I just wanna... Uuuuu!! I just wish I could see it again... Ugggghhh I'll say it i just I wish he would k*ss me~!!! >_<" "I wouldn't be alive without Holy-heart.... I was going to unal*ve myself, but then I saw him write 'Wahoo! See-a you later-a dog-a-shit!' in the middle of a math post, and it saved my life..." Reader, I'm just glad youre alive, hugs. Yes, it's time for me to explain myself. I know how badly people have been wondering, worrying about me, so I've decided to come forward. The reason I've been absent, is... I'm pregnant. Yes, yes, I know you could tell by looking at my Mourning Dovish belly. A few folks thought that I was transforming into a human sized winterfat avian animal, but no, I am not the bird itself, but the bird birther. Yes, this Papagenoid Berthier of birds has undergone the trials of traumatic still face experiments, weathered his feathered feet to the fire, and in recompense has been bequeathed a furry twinsisterwife by the Freemasons. I have 5 eggs inside my bulbuous belly. Our haggish mother, as you'd expect, was quite distressed at our wincestual consummation, and aimed to add a spoon of fire into our custard, so that I would unwittingly swallow it and, that phoenix, in violetgreen swallow fashion, would swoop down and swallow the eggs, burning them, and replacing his own with it, much like a Hartshorne. ...What? I didn't eat the custard, so my mother sang an aria about how she would instruct her daughter (my wife) to murder her pro-incest and satanic arch enemy (our father), lest she go Medea and honorkill our asses, SO BIST DU MEIN, MEINE TOCHTER NIMMERMEEEEEE e E E E E E E E E E E E E EEEEEEEE e E E E E E E E E E E E E EEEEEEEE e E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E Ehr My sisterwife laughed and said she despises "that F6." Now, I love my sisterwife very much, but I had to beg to disagree. Fast & Furious 6 is by no means a cinematic masterpiece, but it's not meant to be. It's just meant to be... fun. Not every movie has to be the next Godfather or Goodfellas, sis. Sometimes it's good to just turn your brain off and enjoy the silly action. And you know what? I'll say it. Jordana Brewster is pretty hot. And before you get offended at "cheating with my thoughts," remember that I'm not even supposed to be attracted to you, as you share my blood (although retroactively, due to Freemasonic rituals. The head of this cult's name? Hartshorne...) And yeah, the Brewster's aging and "hit the wall." So have you, sis (she's my older sister), but the countours of her face are so sharp in an enticing way. It's really distinctive, subtle. And while I was saying all this, you see, I was stroking her face, tracing it delicately with my hands. And she was like "Oh, so you weren't talking about Jordana Brewster... You were talking about me..." And she hugged me, and our father walked in the room and began clapping. And I thought to myself, "Whew, nice save." In any case, my mother was about to kill the whole family with her high F6's. I had to counter it, so I began furiously masturbating writing in my notepad, and just as I was about to finish the coda, my mother's musically astute Phoenix swooped down and swallowed it. Little did she know, I had a vibrator transmitting the tones I was writing to our earpieces, separated into soprano (me), alto (my sister), bass (my father). Always back up your data. If De Sade (me), Gramsci (my sister), and Hitler (my father) can publish smut from a prison cell, then you can certainly hold on to data from the comfort of your NEET basement. BEHOLD, MOTHER, THIS 3-PART FUGUE ON YOUR TUNE:


Ok, I didnt finish the ending. I'll finish it when i come back. Hmmm? I know what you're thinking: "When's the baby shower?" Heh. Friend, I don't need a shower. I need a bath. A birdbath. I need to soak myself and ruffle my feathers in some cool water. I am very much the opposite of a pregnant woman actually... A pregnant man. Nay... a Math Man. My father...? Hartshorne. Go on reader, why don't you ask me some more questions.

>Hey, Holy-heart, can you write a devil's advocate full frontal lobe refutation of Appphobia?
Okay, so listen to this: A fake variation of Lady Bird Johnson once professed that love is like a federal highway. "ummm jc bach came BEFORE mozart... dont you mean mozart sounds LIKE jc bach?" ummm "sounds like" is a symmetric relationship?????? Ummmm, sorry I'm not interested???? Ummm, i'm not into incels??? can you please like stop being rude and just problematic af thanks??? If anything, the center of gravity is located at the MORE CULTURALLY RELEVANT AND RECOGNIZABLE FIGURE, so jc bach sounds like mozart WAY MORE than mozart sounds like jc bach. Assholes... the old bright knights bequeathing the bright eyes with the ability to swing swings of fleeting superiority amongst his peers. DO YOU EVEN LATIN? DO YOUEVEN READ THEORY? I studied the ENGRAVINGS IN ESTERHAZY'S ESTATE AND I KINDLY DISAGREE WITH YOUR EVALUATION OF "HUMOR" AND "SENSUALITY" EXISTING BETWEEN THE FOLDS OF THE OLD. Glllararrrrccchhhhhhh what IS this MODERNIZATION? This REVISIONISM? Is that a girl kissing a girl? EWWWWWWWWW! Now, a fake variation on that variation of a waltz by Lady Birb, an enigma so to speak, created here, SNAP, professes that FORMS ARE LIKE THE ROADS CONNECTING AN URBAN AREA. Clear as ummm ground. Take a bird's eye view, a phoebe's view, and that's what she sees. BUT DEAR EVE, WE HAVE NOT WINGS. ohhh but satan still lurks in the weeds seething with envy. IF YOU THROW A PAPER PLANE FROM A ROOFTOP IT WILL FALL INTO SOME 9 YEAR OLD'S EYE AND BLIND HIM FOR LIFE, BRINGING A CIVIL SUIT OR WORSE CRIMINAL PUNISHMENT AGAINST YOU. Imagine a 9 year old whose eye is BLEEDING from the sharp tip of your paper plane. now that's what i call friendly fire. You can go to an stingy old woman's apartment and kill her and accidentally murder her half-sister along with her, or you can cut down a tree at the wronge angle. Throwing a paper plane is LITERALLY the same as shooting a pistol into the sky. now you know why i dont drive. Imagine commanding an army of elephants against british invaders and they end up getting scared by the gunfire and stampeding backwards, killing your own troops. Imagine the flat heavy weight of an elephant foot coming down like an iron stamp indeed, crushing the well built brigadier who seemed like he'd conquer the world. Your name going down in legends associated with the loss of independence, the negligence that led to war. But maybe the phoebe, that lady birb, looks down with envy. There is a system that organizes the life of a phoebe, rite? The seasons, the elements. there is an invisible road network in the sky that one most follow, lest one be eaten midflight. each tree is a billet, but no home. each cavity a cave, but no bedroom. These are hunter-gatherers of the sky. Were huntergatherers free? No, they were restricted by the needs of hunger and warmth. Forms are terrible because they are a high concentration of all the inanity and complexity of life. They are highly concentrated mind-sucks. But a form is just a form. It is the summation of all the complex webs and histories of ones life, and it lifts the burden of those webs into a neat tight package that can be given to someone as a high level overview (a birds eye view) of the self. its terrible, but its a quick shot of terrible. A vaccination. Forms are beautiful. They're disgusting soul-killing vomit-worthy and still beautiful. They release you from other obligations. They facilitate all the other interplay of emotions in day-to-day life that would otherwise be filled with tactical calculations of how to get from point A to point B and defend ones territory. Forms beget peace. Stability rules. And thus the assertion that love is like a federal highway might as well be asymmetric, because federal highways predate love. if youve ever been in love, reader, you're privileged. extremely privileged.

>What's wrong with you, dude? Why are you so confusing, incomprehensible, insensitive? I just don't understand you. Why cant you just be normal for once? Why cant you just like say something frank and ordinary, without all these layers of nonsense?

>I am German, und I zake very great offenze by Eleana Forte's American pronunciason of ze vords inz your fuga. Stupid filthy Americans... Fourz of July? More like Forte of You Lie... Oooo... You said zat you would finish it ven you're "back"? Back from vat? Lozer club? Ha ha ha ha ha.
It's called tension, reader... You know how Leopold would play a phrase and stop short of finishing the cadence, and little Wolfgang would spring out of bed and run down the stairs to resolve it faster than if Costanze's parents weren't home? I'm running out of time reader, honestly... I have to... I have to go away..... Arrrggggh.... I'm vanishing...! I'm vanishing... Nooooo.... You have to write the coda to save me!! you need to complete the modulation to the tonic and write a few more 3part strettos to saaaave me noooooooo.. Arrrgghg.... 'm too lazy...! I'm too lazy....! You're not lazy like me reader!! You're productive...! You don't have a lack of attention span and problems with productivity.... Arrrgghhhh... You're always focused, reader... free from.... AArrrggghhhh .... distractions... You were always so... disciplined...

>Hey remember when you told me you were going to post X on date Y, and you never ended up doing it? Now your site has been inactive for like 6months.

>wait so what do you mean you'll finish it when you're "back"?
I'll be ded the first couple of months of the new year. Yes, we're off to a strong start. The oneandonly nostart. A heap of inactivity to follow inactivity. in fact, if I stretch it out long enough, I can reach a full 1 year of inactivity!! Wow!! I will be back in 2023, i just need time, reader... and space... It's not you... its me... Hey if surenaga can do it, why not me? Come on dude, This aint even nothin new. Some of the OG followers remember my disappearance back in the epic POWERGAP of 2021. Despite being an internet addict, i live a life where i go nointernet fairly often. The reason for these semifrequent absences is: my sexy bird bf wont stop pumping babies into me, and i keep getting pregnant and going on maternity leave. He says it's my fault because of the way i dress, and if i go out in night in this fluffy outfit i'm "asking to be raped." yea, he's mean and abusive, but his birdseed produces the most fit offspring, so i cant help but fall into his feathery embrace. Our suckers fledge fast af (by the way, nointernet doesn't help at all with internet addiction. dopamine detox is a scam. My advice for internet addiction or any addiction is: Just accept it. Don't try to 'quit' anything. If you're addicted, keep going... just do it in a way that you also do whatever other stupid thing that's on your dumbass "life goals" or "new years resolutions" list. Yes, you can still get it done. The internet addiction isnt getting in the way, you are. THE ADDICTION IS NOT THE PROBLEM. YOU CAN GET SHIT DONE EVEN WITH AN ADDICTION. YOU CAN WRITE AND EDIT DRUNK "Wow, that's the worst advice I've ever heard... Encouraging people to further continue their spiral of dependency and depression...? Why would you recommend such harmful ideas?" My response to you is: this parenthetical is getting too long so goodby).

>Ummm, Hello?? :) I am new visiting and I dont know what is going on? :) Can you pls help me?? Thank you :)

If you're "new" and wanna browse this site, or if you're returning and wanna have some #holeinmyheartmemories while I'm gone, here's what I have to corrupt you.

>how do i send you a comment, request, or love letter while you're gone?
email is probably best: holeinmyheart ✪ (I WILL PROLLY NOT READ IT TILL IM BACK)

Seeya in errr, May, probably (or some other unspecified month of 2023).