....? Hi?

You're, like, standing rite in the way, girl.

Ah, shoot. Sorry.

You were like, blocking the path of women and children, haha. I'm gonna call you: The Goose!

Ahahaha...

Wanna get some coffee? I'll pay.

It's kinda weird to think, like, that language is, like, a thing.

Uhh... Sure.

Cuz there are like, people that wanna abolish it.

Abolish... language?

Yeh, yeh. A subgroup of "primitivists." Well, at least they wanna get rid of written language. What dya think of that? Do ya ever wanna, like, just get rid of the whole alphabet?

Well, that doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Why would you want to do that?

Their argument is, like, technology is evil. And symbolism and abstraction contributes to the system of technology. Or symbolism and abstraction IS technology. Somethin' like that.

Well, I don't know. Maybe it's a good idea. I'm not an expert. My opinion on this isn't really relevant.

O please! Your opinion matters as much as anyone else's!

That's not true. Experts on, uh, linguistics or whatever probably have a better say here.

Hah! Screw science n "expertise" n all that nonsense. Primitivism is, like, all about returning to our intuitive understanding of the world, ya feel? Tell me how ya feel!

Well, I feel like we shouldn't abolish it. But... that's just because I'm used to having the alphabet. I don't really have any better reason than that.

Come on, that's a great reason!

...I don't think so. Just because something is normal doesn't mean it's good.

I mean, like, how would your life change if suddenly no one was allowed to write anymore? Like say a "NO WRITING ALLOWED" rule was passed. Or, like, maybe everyone loses the ability to write. Do you think that would be good or bad for you?

I think it would be pretty bad for me.

But just because I wouldn't like it, doesn't mean it shouldn't happen. That would be pretty selfish.

That depends on how important of a person you are.

Well, I'm not important.

Well, you're important to me.

We just met.

Hahaha. Have you heard that song by M2M?

Huh?

Don't say you love me~.
Youuuu don't even know me~.
Iiiif you really want me,
Then give me some time~.

That's the chorus.

Nice.

So, do you think writing should be abolished then?

Heck yea! DEATH TO ALL WRITING.

Tho if we were abolishing it, I don't think we should do it overnight.

Ah!

To get rid of the alphabet, we should phase it out little by little. AND, if we were going letter by letter, we should get rid of the dumb letters first, right?

What's the dumbest letter? Q seems like the most dumb. I think Q doesn't do his homework. What a dummy.

Next would be P. P doesn't seem like the type to read textbooks, at least, har, har, har.

Also, X seems pretty dumb. Ah, but X seems like in the future they'd become, like, a scientist or something. I was too judgmental there. Sorry, X.

...What?

Well, actually, now that I think about it, maybe it's the other way around. Maybe we should keep the "dumb" letters and get rid of the smart ones. After all, from a primitivist perspective, it's the "smart" scientists and engineers that are contributing to the poison of technology.

Ah, but I'd really hate to get rid of a letter. All letters are pretty cute. I can't even imagine having to get rid of Q. Q is QT! How about we get rid of the smart human beings, leave the average and dumb ones around? The eugenicist's worst nightmare! And we'll keep letters. BUT, let's ban writing. We'll ban writing and keep letters. Letters can exist as long as we don't use them to communicate, you know what I mean?

Uh, ok. But what would would be the point of having letters if you couldn't use them?

They're cute.

........

Maybe we can just appreciate letters for who they are, instead of using them as slaves for the sake of our communication.

Heck, maybe we can even keep words, as long as they don't mean anything. Like "rude." I like the word rude. And I like dressing it up too: It looks cute in Georgia and funny in cursive. And I like how it sounds too. But who cares about what it means? I just like how it feels.

Ah, here's another example that I adore. You have a notepad and pencil on you, rite?

Err, yea.

Nice handwriting.

I suppose you're in the club that reads "deadmau5" as "dead mow five"?

Absolutely!

I always read words too literally.

That may be because I'm a dummy. Dummies can't into symbolism and stuff.

Yknow, actually, back when I was in middle school, I had a huge crush on this guy. We were both dead-mow-five fans.

Ah, cool.

Ugh.

Heh, you look annoyed.

You bet. I openly fawned over him all through middle school and up to, like, 9th grade. But he never reciprocated my feelings.

Aw.

Maybe I was like too forward? I'd literally say I love him and he'd act all disgusted and call me names.

That sucks. I'm sorry. Do you still see him?

Nah. By high school, it became really clear he didn't want me around anymore. He'd openly call me things like "worthless whore" n stuff. I mean, we always had that kind of banter. But it started to sound more and more serious. And it just started to hurt a lot more. He never apologized or anything. He even started threatening to physically harm me.

What the hell? That's straight up abusive.

Well, it made my self-harm tendencies worse through high school.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry. I don't do it anymore. I stopped cutting a few years ago. But still not a day goes by where I don't think about him. It basically ruined my ability to get into serious relationships. I can't get over him.

You don't hate him?

O, I hate him alright! I despise him! If I saw him again, God, I'd do unspeakable things to him. I'd do all the awful stuff he threatened to do to me. Yeah I swear I'd fucking.... I'd carve his eye out with a spoon and rape him to death.

What? He actually said that stuff to you? What a fuckface.

Yeah. Ugh, I'm sorry! That prolly made you really uncomfortable!

No, no, you're fine. Fuck him. I'm not even joking: If he actually threatened to do that and didn't take it back, he 100% deserves it to happen to him. That's karma. It sounds like you don't see him anymore though. That's good.

Thanks for the support. And yeh, he disappeared after 9th grade. Honestly, tho, more than anything else, that was the worst part. He just left without any closure.

To think we used to ride the ship together and stuff, and now we just hate each other.

What? The ship?

God, I made so many cute nicknames for him haha, but they annoyed the hell out of him. Tho I think he secretly liked it when I called him "The Duke".

But yea, one day, he logged off and never logged back on to our server. Oh, he was an online friend from an MMO, by the way. Forgot to mention that.

Anyway, after years and years of pent up frustration, I finally couldn't take it anymore.

I thought, "I'm going to dox this guy, find out where he lives, and meet him face-to-face."

O-oh, really? And, you went through with it?

Yeh. That's why I came here. He's in this city.

And I've decided, when I find him, this time I won't hold back. I will get back at him. By force.

B-by force, eh? What exactly is the plan there?

Like I said, I'll carve his eye out with a spoon, and rape him to death.

You know, on second thought, I've heard that rape isn't too popular nowadays. There was like a Pew poll or something,

Well like you said, he 100% deserves it. He shouldn't have said all those horrible things to me.

W-well, that was so long ago. He's probably a more mature individual now! And he was probably joking, anyway.

If he at least said goodbye; If he at least left behind some kind of contact information; If he didn't just leave out of nowhere with no notice, maybe it wouldn't have had to come to this.

Woah, woah, woah. Listen, friend: Rape is a choice; as long as you're the rapist, not the rapee.

Yknow what would be the worst? If he were a catfish. Like, hypothetically, what if he were actually a girl irl? Could you, like, imagine if the "boy" I fell in love with was actually a girl? Could you imagine the hypothetical confusion and hypothetical distress that'd cause to my mind?

Ahahaha, that would be pretty hypothetically bad, wouldn't it? Jeez, what a hypothetical bitch. I almost understand the desire to hypothetically spoon-rape that hypothetical whore. But, in the end, revenge isn't worth it. Listen, sister, don't get hung up over a selfish, rotten, good-for-nothing catfish. There are other fish in the sea.

Ahahaha, good one.

Ahahaha, I surprise myself sometimes. In fact, that was unintentional.

But you're right. There are other fish in the sea. Like the Bone Fish. or even the famous Pianus.

Ahahaha, right? Though those names sound more like MMO enemies than actual fish. Perhaps you should have instead said "Common Carp", or "King Mackerel"

Ahahaha, you're right. I was accidentally thinking of MapleStory. Thanks for the correction.

No problem, no problem at all. Just wanted to help you with your fish knowledge, in case you were planning to become a Ickythickyologist or whatever it's called. Or, are you shooting for primitivist? Well, whatever "ist" you want to be, keep following your dreams. And by the way, I've never heard of this "Baple Smory" thing you're talking about. But you don't need to explain it to me. I'll look it up later. Anyway, I should get going now. I'll see you la--have a good one.

Woah, woah, cowgirl. This is a bit gay, isn't it?

It's okay for girls to hold hands, Lucy.

"Lucy" you say? Are you perchance getting me confused with someone else? We haven't exchanged names yet.

Ahh, sorry! You just look like a Lucy to me. You know how I feel letters, rite? It's not like I doxxed you and found your name beforehand.

Of course not, hahaha! And by the way, if you do end up raping that person, I'd suggest making it a quick, gentle rape. Got it? No spoons needed. And you DON'T have to kill them at the end. It'll be better for your conscience.

Yknow, on a second look, I think I have another fitting name for you. Like an alter ego type of name.

Oh, r-really?

Yea, wanna hear it?

Not particularly interested at this moment.

Come oooooooooon, Lucy. It's really badass.

Haha, no need. And by the way, I still have yet to confirm nor deny that I bear the name Lucy.

Hear me out, Lucy. I'm sure you will like this name. I'm sure you'll totally dig it. You'll think it's soooo edgy and cool.

I'm not sure about that. I have a very refined aesthetic sense. Actually, they call me "Allison the Aesthete" And yes, my name is actually Allison. Allison Wong.

Listen, Lucy,

If I were to give you an alternate name,

Or, more specifically, a username...

It'd be "DarkLukeX20"

Sorry, Aymeexo

I should have at least said goodbye.