10:37pm: JIBUN WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOops wrong window.

5:41pm: fuck

10:23pm: Update: It's up.

2:44am: >Posting from your IP range has been blocked due to abuse. [More Info]
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Anyway, new Hartshorned ex will finally be posted later today.

3:12am: Two hours later, still stuck. Jesus.

1:26am: The exercise has to do with dimension. "Dimension" in algebraic geometry classifies surfaces the way you expect it to, but its actual definition is extremely random looking and unintuitive, and very difficult to work with for me.

1:12am: If for some reason anyone is actually following the Hartshorned blog and waiting an update, well.. I'm working on an exercise now... and I'm stuck. So that's the situation.

8:14pm: I was hyping up the "Metagame" doc earlier (well, the underlying point of the post was to simmer down the "hype"), and it did premier today. I only caught episode 1 and it was alright. Probably won't get around to the rest till significantly later. Might not even get around to it at all. I'm very fickle.

2:16am: It's late at night and I should sleep so I'm eating chocolate and staying up.

1:05am: It's kinfa been a while since I've updated the diary, so I might as well make an entry. So... uhmm... hi o.o

1:20pm: All the "views" on Neocities pages are just Kilim's bots.

4:09am: It's also fair to be worried about how freakishly often this site is updated. Hey, I'm worried too. But since you're here, how about you listen to a nice cantata with me? Over and over, through the night, wasting the time away.

4:04am: I'm sure people reading this are plenty worried about how my diary entries typically occur well past 12am, and I want to assure you that your worry is plenty well-founded.

1:21pm: I'm sorry, I'm trying to listen to it again and it's just annoying. It just drags so much. I just want to scream "Hurry up!!!" at the players. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! I'm listening to "shorter" performances and it still drags. It's so corny too, which might be fine if it wasn't 15 minutes straight of this slow-motion cringe. I must have some kind of hole in my heart or something.

1:11pm: Happy Thanksgiving! Here's the 3rd movement of Beethoven's 15th string quartet. This movement is titled "Holy song of thanksgiving of a convalescent to the Deity, in the Lydian mode". Beautiful... Actually, I think this movement is boring as fuck. In fact I think it's the worst movement from the quartet. The second movement is better (especially the trio starting at 4:34!).

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HIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S 5:25AM AND I'M TRYING TO POST INSTEAD OF GOING TO BED LIKE I SHOULD YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2:26am: Funny story: Yesterday, I was reading ふしぎ電車 and I finally triggered the scat scene, only to look at the time and say "Ugh, it's getting late and I'm getting tired. I guess I'll read this tomorrow or something." If that isn't being jaded then I don't know what is.

3:50pm: Anyone else have a problem where they periodically choke on every damn type of food? I was eating an apple earlier, and I started choking on it. Then I was eating some biscotti dipped in tea... Started choking. Best of all is when I choke while drinking water. Yeah, I drink water to stop choking, and then I choke on the water itself. It usually happens when I'm eating too impatiently or moving my mouth too much while eating and not chewing enough before swallowing, but considering I'm a fidgety hyperactive mess, I guess that can't be helped.

4:47am: Was in bed, lights off, then jumped out of bed and opened neocities up just to write, holy shit, I forgot HTML has tables. I'm a fucking idiot. That easily handles the "CSS struggles" I was occupying myself with for lik 45 fucking minutes, lol. Good night.

12:24am: Speaking of CSS struggles... for my next post (yes, its already written out oh boy) I'm trying to display some text side-by-side (some Japanese text + English translation) and I am struggling to get it right. I'm so bad at this. I should stop for tonight and try again later.

People on here are such good writers and so creative. I want to shower them with compliments but I have this habit of coming off as really creepy when I approach people on the internet, so I have to consciously stop myself. I'm not kidding, my sperging can freak people out.

Here's a video of a millstone, which you can use to make wheat flour. Looks comfy. I've always had these fantasies of going at least partially "back to basics". Baking my own bread, sewing my own clothes, etc. Actually, I've tried to do some of this and it all failed terribly. I joined the sourdough club when quarantine started--no, I tried to join the sourdough club but got rejected: My dough would never rise. I tried to sew my own clothes: travelled one heck of a complicated route by bus to the only nearby fabric store, bought fabric, then made something barely resembling a shirt, and then ran out of fabric (I didn't buy enough). I'm too incompetent. I realized that I really shouldn't be messing around with this stuff. All these California fires and stuff that have been started by small mistakes like cigarettes and gender reveal smoke generators really remind me of that. You know those people who die in the wild from incompetence and everyone makes fun of them and label them as Darwin Award winners? Yeah. I always think back to that image of that one anon that apparently accidentally started a fire and was like "Fuck Yuru Camp". Hilarious and relateable.

1:51am: I'm sure CSS is a very valuable tool in the hands of the competent. Emphasis on competent (TдT)

Yes, this entry is verbatim my diary entry on 11/18/2020, 1:07am (up to the "posting past 1am" part) with the modification--in the spirit of "yesterday"s entry--that I used a kaomoji instead. Also, as you can tell from this sentence and from this entire site really, I am completely clueless on how to correctly use parentheticals, em dashes, semicolons, and all that stuff.

1:49pm: I was looking at Rakka's post on the nature (or lack thereof) of "anime style" and the part about how Japanese animation/emoticons tend to exaggerate the eyes whereas English ones tend to exaggerate the mouth was very interesting to me. In particular, he notes:

This got me thinking about the "Smile with your eyes" idea that came up in my last blog post. I certainly seem to find emotions more expressive when communicated with the eyes, which is why I found the all-American "wide smile" described in the post so aesthetically unpleasing compared to the slight smirks of old composers. Now that could just be me. But the fact that "smile with your eyes" is a standard piece of advice suggests to me that the impression is actually more universal. I now remember attending a science mueseum on a middle school field trip, and one of the exhibits had pictures of people with different facial expressions, except their mouths (and I think even their noses) were covered, but you can still tell whether they were smiling, frowning, etc. just from looking at the eyes. Maybe explains why the "anime" art style (mainly the "moe" type) has become so popular worldwide? Even people who aren't particularly into anime or don't have their profiles centered around anime, will use an anime profile picture, because the focus and exaggeration on the eyes has a universal appeal.

1:07am: I'm sure CSS is a very valuable tool in the hands of the competent. Emphasis on competent D:

1:49am: Another week underused. Sigh. Late at night at the turn of the new week, looking back on how I've spent my week is always sad. Holed up in my room (pandemic or not), doing a lackluster job at everything, longing and yearning for something that can fill the *ahem* hole in my heart (Title drop, bitches!). My head feels bad right now. I've been noticing how difficult it has been for me to get through the day, especially lately. Past 12am-ish is the only time where I feel like I have some kind of solitude. But nowadays I'm so spent by this time that it's difficult to even think straight. I wish I had enough energy for all my waking hours, but it seems like I don't.

2:05am: It's looking like I won't be able to crank out that new post by Saturday. Ugh. I guess I'll have to delay it to next week. I (vaguely) know what I'm going to write. The issue is just finding the time and motivation to sit down and type it out, knowing that no one is going to end up reading it anyway. But I'll do it. I'll assemble my energy to deliver a new pukefest of text in this vomit-inducing pink-on-pink color scheme.

12:32am: It's been hard for me to focus lately (even more than usual). It's now technically Monday, and I'm supposed to write a new blog post this week, but I haven't started. I guess I'll try starting tonight. >:)

4:21pm: This diary is useless, just like my life. Also, I'm one minute off the usual number.

3:45pm: Whenever I publish something to the outside world, I look back and worry that it's too cringe and get a urge to delete it all and hide in a hole, and that's usually how it ends. I'm getting similar urges after creating this site. Let's see how long I last this time. I'm aware that its lifetime will probably just consist mostly of me speaking to a void anyway.

Also it's election day. Take it slow, folks (and by "folks", I mean the void).

4:20am: Heh, 4:20. But anyway, turns out I stayed up finishing up the final draft of the blog post. Appphobia is up!

10:50pm: Ugh, there are some things I've procrastinated on and I'm dreading to deal with them. Indeed, I instead spent most of the day finishing up a rough draft for a new blog post. Priorities, baby. (at least I did something, unlike most days).

Hiii. This is sposed to be a diary entry